On tuesday night I went to the Empire, with the intention of meeting a friend and then going for a few drinks and a bite to eat as he's had exams and a lot of uni work so we haven't caught up in a while.
I go in about 7pm and he's sitting at a cash table with about £900. He gets up to say hi etc etc and his phone rings. I tell him I'll play for him even though this is a bit of a grey area and I'm not really sure if it's allowed but no-one seemed to object. There were 3 familiar faces to me at the table so maybe they just didn't object cos I'm such a good value spot! Anyhoo, I raise the first 3 hands (I've watched Durrrr on HSP and PAD this week and convinced I can be a genius too obv!). I take down 2 small pots and concede one when I get reraised. There are two guys on the table, both look like total geeks and one is wearing a pkr t-shirt. T-shirt gooks mate asks me if I'm on 2+2. I respond deadpan, 'Is that like Youporn community'? He looks at me and says no and continues talking to t-shirt gook about pokertracker or the size of Pat Antonius's ring. My mate gets off the phone and whispers, 'Those two have been doing my head in today...sooo annoying, come on let's go and get some drinks'. "One more hand" is the completely predictable response from me. I look down at 53o in MP and it's folded to me so i make it 8 to go and both blinds call only. Marvellous, I'm happy at least I have position with this sack of shit. Flop 356 with 2 hearts. T-shirt boy check raises me from the big and I set him in for his last £100. Even though the pot was only £300 it was so nice to felt gook boy when his J6hh bricked. Soooo sweet. My mate was very happy.
The crash happened a little later just as my mate was leaving. He put £550 on one hand of Blackjack and got....yes...Blackjack. His life is just like one whole run good story. Another friend from home who had met me in the meantime watched me piss away £700 trying to emulate Figo (the initial mate in the story) who it turns out didn't go home...he went to the Vic and spun up £8k on blackjack. Sick bastard. He won a £1k freezeout when he was £18. Lost £99k sportsbetting on Will Hill before he was 21 and won £28k on the Barcelona vs Real match a week or so ago. On top of that he's meant to be doing his finals at uni at the moment! He's still a sick degen bastard who will try to nip anyone in his site, so if you hear of Figo...stay the fk away! I'm gonna make the dirty little bastard read this too.
I've since clawed back over half of that £700 but won't be playing much til the weekend.
2 months ago