Thursday, 15 January 2009

The most Evil Creation in all the Universe....

...PIGEONS!

and not only are they the most evil fucking things ever, and ugly twats too but they have something in particular against me.

More annoying is that they are currently on top in our battles. Just today at lunch time I was walking back to the office, lunch in hand when this pigeon takes off from about 30 metres away and decides to fly directly at my face. Obviously it never hit but I'm always the bellend who is ducking and flailing about to move out of their way. Never happens when I'm walkin down a quiet road either, always when 30000 people are walking the opposite direction to me to witness these misbehaving winged wankers making me look a complete tool.

I feel sorry for the next pigeon I see with a damaged wing or leg or whatever. Cos next time I see one fucker that can't fly I'm gonna paint my Nike trainers red giving it one mother****** of a boot. Maybe even a rockbottom.

I feel better now.

2 comments:

Barry Carter said...

link added!

Yorkshire Pud said...

Quality post! I fucking hate pigeons too, they ALWAYS managed to shit on my car within 30 seconds of me driving away from the jetwash.

No wonder they call the little feathery wankers Rats with wings!